you are wiser than you could possibly imagine

rly tho

Image: Yumi Sakugawa, Your Illustrated Guide to Becoming One with the Universe

My whole life, I’ve been plagued by this voice in my head to just do the logical thing no matter what I’m feeling. To opt for survival in the form of financial stability, for suffering in the name of long-term gain.

To resist my deeper desires for joy, rest, and play. Because those feelings were “irrational,” and therefore harmful.

But what actually defines what’s rational?

Maybe it was my well-meaning immigrant parents who grew up in scarce environments where seeking fulfillment was antithetical to survival. Maybe it was a schooling system that rewarded or punished me for how correct I was on a two-dimensional scale. Maybe it’s this world that incessantly shouts what I should do and consume in order to be valuable and desirable. 

No matter the cause, my brain has decided that every situation has exactly one right path out of the many available to me. It pretends as if I’m Dr. Strange trying to save the fucking universe, when all I’m trying to decide is what to do with my time and energy.

It’s comforting, in a way ― to imagine there’s one optimal path forward, and if I just think hard enough, I can solve that puzzle.

But rational thinking as defined by your conditioning ceases to be useful once you’ve laid out your options. At that point, logic is just the horse that guides you to the mouth of a cave split into divergent paths. The only way to feel out which one is truly right for you is to get off that horse, thank it for its services, and tap into your intuition.

It sounds like some woo-woo bullshit, but it’s true: You are wiser than your rational brain could possibly imagine. Because the wisdom you need is already inside your body. 

Underneath all the bullshit conditioning is your pure Self. Your “gut.” An open heart devoid of fear or ego. This Self already knows what you truly need ― not what the world has instructed you to need.

I know, trusting your gut is an age-old cliché. And nobody tells you how to actually do it. 

Turns out, it’s a muscle that you have to train. They call it the gut because it’s literally a sensation deep within your body. And sadly, kombucha doesn’t help with that.

I spent decades of my life trying to wrestle my emotions into submission until I realized I was constantly at war with my body. That war manifested in the form of chronic pain, self-loathing, and anxiety that’s plagued me since grade school. But once I learned to listen to it, it finally made sense.

The whole time, my body already knew. That job? That relationship? Deep inside, I already knew.

The job that paid me well for making a bunch of slide decks is somebody’s dream career. But what good is it if it’s not my dream career?

It’s taken me years of yoga, meditation, coaching, and life experience ― but I can only speak to what’s worked for me. I tune in by breathing deeply and saying to my body, “I love you. I’m here for you. What do you need?” 

Doing this doesn’t always lead me directly to the answer I want. My body might reveal an underlying loneliness, guiding me to reach out to a good friend and make dinner plans. It may tell me that it needs to be seen and cared for in a specific way. Sometimes, it just tells me to slow the fuck down, lie under the covers, and cry. 

But when you sit still, breathe, and let your brain ease off while you tune into your body, what’s left? What’s there?

Whatever it is, your body knows. Your spirit knows. You are wiser than you could ever imagine, and you are deeply worthy of your own attention and faith.

Tune in. Trust yourself. You’ll be so glad you did.

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