the freedom in our shackles

on making peace with transience

“Beauty and Mortality”, Damian Smith

When I was six years old, I came to the realization that I was going to die someday.

Without a religion that could promise a blissful afterlife, I cried every night as I imagined myself fading away into a deep, dark void. The weight of my mortality felt crushing. 

I wondered how the world could be so cold and merciless. I questioned whether my life had any significance at all given that it would just come to an end.

Twenty years later, I now understand that my life has significance because it will come to an end. 

Because our time is limited, everything we do counts. The bonds we form. The things we create. The moments of pure, childlike joy. Every single thing that makes this all worth it ― it fucking matters.

But so often, we live as if we have all the time in the world.

We waste our time and energy on things that don’t serve us. We wait for our lives to improve instead of actively creating the conditions we want. We fail to cherish all that we have.

You don’t see the urgency. That really worries me. -Jhené Aiko, “10k Hours”

The reality is, our bodies eventually break down. Our relationships, no matter how strong, all end by split or by death. 

Everything we know and love will come to an end someday.

And that’s okay, because making peace with transience is the only way to truly appreciate what we have while we have it. We really don’t need to wait for something to end to recognize just how much it means to us. 

Paradoxically, recognizing our shackles to mortality is the most freeing thing we can do. It reveals that all the trivial bullshit you’re so worried about today won’t matter one bit in the end. What will matter is how you pursued your purpose, how you showed up for others, and how well you relished each and every moment. 

At the end of the day, my greatest fear isn’t death. My greatest fear is that upon my own ending, I’ll have failed to honor my beginnings and middles. There is so much richness and abundance around us, and absolutely none of it is guaranteed to exist tomorrow.

So, set yourself free from what no longer serves you. Give yourself permission to pursue joy and bask in the present moment. Embrace the challenge of creating the life you want to live.

What fills you with purpose and deserves more appreciation? What drains your energy and requires restructuring or letting go of? As I’ve said before, your body already holds this wisdom. Listen to it.

The good old days are happening right now. 

It’s up to you whether you choose to take it in.